by Matt Miller
Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #34? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #36? Submit it here before Sunday July 5th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
- Birthday Giveaway! Deadline: Monday July 13th at noon Pacific Time.
- Cheebras Pin-Up Contest! Deadline: Entries MUST be received by midnight on July 4, 2009.
- Hello Kitty Vibe photo contest Deadline: September 1, 2009.
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…
- Sublime by Carrie Ann
Insertion with this toy is wonderful. Thrusting is amazing. It’s girthy yet not huge, filling but not uncomfortable and the bumps and bulges really stimulate the inner labia and vaginal entrance.
- Evolved Bliss by the kitten pup
- AcuVibe Mini by Nadia West
- Adam & Eve Magic Massager by Beautiful Dreamer
- Buzz 1 by Sarah
- Fun Factory Boss by Beautiful Dreamer
- Silicone Slims G-teaser Vibrator in Purple by Baby Sinead
- Hide-A-Vibe by Sommer Marsden
- Treeze Wave by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- Treeze Wave by Epiphora
- Love Cup by Beautiful Dreamer
- Acuvibe Mini by Marla Singer St. Syr
- Nubby Vibrating Glass by Sleeping Dreamer
- Dynamic Duo by Beautiful Dreamer
- Lovemoiselle Cecile by Nadia West
- Xtreme Kit by Beautiful Dreamer
- Flirty Plush Pack Magic Ball by Sleeping Dreamer
- The Cone by Athena Bradford
- Fun Factory Stranger II by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulator by Torri
- iLusting by Rimba by Mistress Says
- AcuVibe Mini by Carnivalesq
- Extreme Pack G-spot Bullet by the kitten pup
- AcuVibe Mini by Red
- Emotional Bliss Womolia by Exploring Intimacy
- Rabbit Rider by Adriana
- iVibe Egg by Epiphora
- Vibratex Pandora by Sexorcism
- Fun Factory Bandito by Femme Mystique
- Echo by Essin’ Em
- Swirled G by Femme Mystique
- Glass Lattachino Double Dildo by Carnivalesq
- Mr. Man by Epiphora
- Anal Pocket Rocket by Eliot Bodem
- Rascal Deep Cleansing Kit by Sexorcism
- Fun Factory Bootie by Carrie Ann
- EGlass Petite Plug by Sexorcism
- Nexus G-Rider by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
- Pipe Dreams PE Vibe by Sexpert Joe
Toys for Cocks
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
- JimmyJane Afterglow by Beautiful Dreamer
- Sensuous Soak Kit by Alpine Subdreams
- Love Liquid by Epiphora
- Good Clean Love by Domina Doll
- BabeGloss by Sexorcism
- ID Moments by Beautiful Dreamer
- 36 Inch Spreader Bar by Essin’ Em
- Pink and Black Double-Strand Beaded Nipple Clamps by Sleeping Dreamer
- Electrify-It Kit by Red
- No Fauxxx by Carnivalesq
- Star Trix Versus This Ain’t Star Trek XXX by Champagne and Benzedrine
- Collin and Hurley by The Porn Librarian
- White Wedding by FrzKey
- Crash Pad Series – Episode 12: Johnny & Legs by J.D. Bauchery
- Bang That Bitch 4 by The Porn Librarian
- Cry Wolf by FrzKey
- The Best of Vulva Massage by Eliot Bodem
- Dare to Bare by Sexorcism
- Matt and Khym: Better than Ever by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
- Wet Look Elbow Length Gloves by Thursday’s Child
- Astrea I vibrating brief by Epiphora
- XOXO Leather Peek-A-Boo Thong by Sexorcism
Now, I admit that I have a few kinks. I like some weird shit. I do, I admit it. However. Those kinks do not include cactus sex. Despite their decidedly phallic shape, cacti do not turn me on, nor do they get me off. Which explains my reticence to try the Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulator, which looks like a pink jelly… yep, you guessed it. Cactus.
Ever since my love affair with the Paul and Paulina began, I’ve had a soft spot for rabbit-style g spot sex toys. So, when I saw this triple stimulator at my fave sex toy shop, I bought it immediately. It looked so… frightening, like in the sense that it would force an orgasm out of me whether I wanted it to or not.
I bounced and giggled like a schoolgirl on illicit caffeine when the UPS guy brought the box. I’m sure he was wondering why I was so excited about a box marked “Lemon Iced Tea Packets” – gotta love Eden’s discrete shipping. I opened the box and looked in, and my first reaction to seeing the Total Ecstasy in it’s package was whoa. It was freaking huge. Like, seriously, no freaking way was that pink jelly mutant cactus monster gonna fit. In my itty bitty girl parts. I was a little scared. Like, terrified, actually.
But, I conquered my fear in the name of research, and busted open the packaging, and immediately wished I had a gas mask. Holy cow, the stench. I mean, I know jelly toys often don’t smell like violets and yumminess, but this thing reeked of toxic spill laced with cherry cough syrup. It reminded me of the Dip from Roger Rabbit. Ugh. Return it? Maybe. I decided to give it a chance to air out first, on account of the excessive heat when it was shipped. So I washed it with mild soap, dryed it, washed it again, dryed it again, then set it in front of a fan for a day. I washed, rinsed, repeated for two days, until the smell was mostly gone.
I had another moment of doubt, but that was quickly squashed by my hyperactive sex drive. So I grabbed a condom, slid it on my new sex toy, and got to town.
Wow. I mean, wow. It took seconds, seconds before I was gasping in shock at the totally amazing and unexpected dual clitoral and g spot orgasms that had just bitch-slapped my nether regions. I’m not sure what all this stuff about anal orgasms is all about, but I think I may have had one of those too. Needless to say, it took me a few minutes to recover.
I’ve got to say that the design of the Total Ecstasy is pretty good, at least for me. It really wasn’t as big as it looked in the packaging, but it still is kind of a hefty sex toy. The clitoral and anal stimulators are positioned right, and they’re soft enough to easily translate vibration without being overly pokey. The rotation feature leaves a bit to be desired, but as I said, it did not fail to get me off.
So, yeah. After about a week the smell is mostly gone, but that jelly is not really safe. Definitely plan on condoms if you’re gonna try it out. While I can’t whole-heartedly recommend the Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulator, I can definitely say that I won’t be returning mine. How can I forsake a toy that treated me so well? You can check it out here.
God knows I don’t. But, hey, I’ll take whatever reason I can get to indulge myself. So, Eden Fantasys is handing out free second day air on all Jimmyjane products. In case you’re unfamiliar, Jimmyjane makes the absolute best sex toys ever. Ever. Like, I want to do things to every toy in their entire line.
So hey, use this as an excuse to pick up an iconic pocket rocket (everyone needs at least one. but, four’s better, cause then you can hide them in sneaky places, like in the back of your car’s glovebox, or behind the computer, or at the bottom of a bag of flour), or a quality rabbit. Orrrrrr…. Really spoil yourself or your girl and pick up the incomparable Form 6. It’s g spot stimulation as art. Smooth, sexy lines make you just wanna slide it somewhere naughty, then wiggle it a little. Ohhh boy. Check out other Jimmyjane stuff here.
So. FREE 2nd day shipping people. You can have your new sex toy under your pillow before you’ve had a chance to explain it’s presence. The code’s JJAIR, enter it at checkout.
Hooray for new sex toys! I got my shipment from Eden Fantasys yesterday, and holy cow I was giggling like a schoolgirl when I tore that thing open. Got four cool new toys, and first out of the gate (or in, haha, god is it bad to laugh at your own stupid jokes?) were Fun Factory’s Smart Balls. I wanted the honeydew melon/grey ones, but they were out of stock so I got vanilla/candy violet. So pretty; I am seriously in lust with these things. They do everything they claim! Fun Factory has a new generation of Smart Balls out called the Smart Balls Teneo Duo; I love the ones I bought so much I might get those ones too. Anyway, check out the full review at the Vibrator G Spot!
This video has a short ad at the beginning and a longer one at the end (I’m sorry!) but watch it anyways. This chick goes around asking women whether or not they think they have a g spot. What’s really amazing is that most of the women say they don’t know if they have one or not. Oh my god, I want to get every single one of those chicks a g spot vibrator and make them happy little campers! (and, that guy near the middle really does have the right idea about how to find the g spot!)
Yup, I started up a facebook page for How To: The G Spot. I’m actually not real skilled with facebook; I have a personal page but I avoid using it as much as possible. But, facebook has such a huge community of sex toy, sexuality, orgasm and women’s issues groups that I figured I should tap that. So, all you facebook babes visit my facebook page and friend me!
I don’t really spend a lot of money on myself; I tend to tell myself I don’t need things. However, there’s two major exceptions to that rule. One, Books. I buy so many books. I turned our guest bedroom into a library, and I have stacks of books tucked into niches and corners all over my house. It’s an addiction, I admit.
The other exception is sex toys. Actually, pretty much anything sex related. Lingerie, costumes, accessories, sex toys, wine to ply my man with. I just spent over two hundred dollars at Eden Fantasys. And yes, I am cringing as I write that. That’s a lot of money for me, but I justified it by saying that stupendous orgasms are worth every penny. I bought the Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulator, which’ll be my first triple stimulator. It looks a little scary, like a cactus. And I got the Smart Balls by Fun Factory. I love Fun Factory, they make such good quality sex toys, and they always get the job done. Also got the Clit Brush Cock Ring. And, this was the big purchase: I bought a We-Vibe. I keep hearing about it, and it’s such a cool idea (you wear in during sex for clitoral and g spot stimulation) that I forked over the cash for it. God I hope it’s good; I will definitely be reviewing it here and at the Vibrator G Spot.
Shipment will be here tomorrow. I am so excited! I’m gonna tear that box open like it’s Christmas morning and I know I’m getting a, well, sex toy.